Sibling foster care can have positive effects on the kids. By letting them keep their essential bond, you can lessen the trauma of change and being cut off from the rest of their family. Foster parents may also find it to be a rewarding experience. Nonetheless, we advise resource parents to approach this dynamic of relationships with an open mind. To help the children find safety and healing, you will need to be adaptable, have reasonable expectations, and be willing to put in a lot of effort.
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Be patient
Establishing a sound bond with every child in the sibling group will require focused and persistent work. It would be beneficial if you were ready to spend one-on-one time with each child and expect that it would take some time for them to adjust to the dynamics in your home.
Expect zero margin
Making time for each child is essential, especially when they first come into the family. But you might feel like there’s never enough time for anything else with that goal and the rest of your everyday obligations. Reminding yourself that this change is temporary, will be helpful. As you settle into your new routine, things will level out.
Lower your expectations
Decide in these early days and weeks that good enough is good enough, which is closely related to having no margin for a season. Reducing your daily expectations will help, especially when it comes to not just getting through this transition with these kids as their parents. Remind yourself that “this too shall pass.”
Ask for help
Seek out practical assistance from your village to help you stay focused and capable of meeting the needs of these children. Arrange meal preparation, grocery pickup, carpooling, and laundry assistance. Your family’s transition is probably exciting to many people, and they’re looking for ways to help you.
Call in the professionals
To assist you with the transition, get in touch with a counselor or therapist as soon as you have knowledge of the children’s background and experiences. You can start setting up assistance for those interventions by asking the caseworker about any additional support the siblings in fostercare have received or may require.
Assess your abilities honestly
Before placements are recommended to your family, be clear with your social worker about the kinds of behaviors you are unable to tolerate. Keep in mind that there are more challenges when you take multiple kids at once. Speaking up about behaviors you cannot or do not want to handle is a bravery.
Children’s transition will be uneven
Every child has had a different experience with their current situation in life so far. Take care not to assume that the siblings will adjust to your house in the same way. As soon as a child is in a safe environment, you should actually expect them to process their experiences differently, and their behavior will reflect those differences. In order to meet each child where they are and provide them with individualized support, try to observe how they are navigating this shift.
Provide adequate supervision
Limit the amount of time the kids spend by themselves without adult supervision. This is especially important for the younger kids. It’s possible that you are unaware of every kind of abuse the kids have experienced. While everyone works out these new boundaries and relationships, they should be kept safe.
